By Brandon Kuske, Contributing Writer
Have you heard? The Olympic committee is contemplating having the next Olympics at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry! (And for all you Muggles out there, that’s one of the three top wizarding schools in Britain!) In my opinion this is a fabulous idea! Rumor has it that Hagrid himself will be making an appearance with Fawkes the Phoenix to light the opening torch! (Shouldn’ ‘ave told ya tha’.) However, the airports will be more cautious than ever, and will be searching all luggage to ensure that no Fanged Frisbees, Screaming Yo-yos, or Decoy Detonators will be transported onto planes.
Also, many of the events are supposed to be “magical” next year, including many of the following:
Swimming in the Lake
Sounds easy enough, but the giant squid in the lake is supposed to add a special twist to this traditional event! Experts say the squid will be looking for competitors to wrench underwater and throw back to the starting point. Another twist is the merpeople, who will attempt to prevent competitors’ progress by blocking their paths, forcing them to recalculate their routes!
Bludger Discus
This event is pretty straight forward: Catch the iron magical ball as it flies at you, and, as fast as possible, throw it as far as you can, trying to drive it into the ground as you do so to prevent it from sailing back and breaking your face.
Snare Hurdles
Yet another classic event, but with yet another serious twist! This event is a lot like the traditional hurdles, but instead of wooden frames to jump over, large clusters of the Devil’s snare will be grown on the field! Competitors must think fast as the spiny magical plant tries to grab your ankles, pulling you into a ditch. And to make it more entertaining to the fans, the Olympic Committee has finally agreed to releasing giant spiders to “encourage” competitors to try their hardest!
Wand Fencing
Easy enough, right? WRONG!!! Instead of a sword, competitors will each be given a wand and taught some basic spells to have a chance against the enemy. Also, none of the real rules of fencing apply. The only rule is to curse, jinx, or hex your opponent until he/she stays on the ground!
And also, introducing a new Olympic event…
Whomping Willow Wandering
For the final event, competitors must retrieve their medals which are hanging on an angry, moving, soul-smashing tree – The Whomping Willow! They must jump, dodge, and run their way to the center of the tree, touching the knot on its bark that makes it go limp. Competitors can then receive their medals and end the competition!
Cornelius Fudge (Minister of Magic) is accepting ideas for any other creative, unique and magically intriguing ideas for other events. Can you think of any?
If you are planning on attending the Hogwarts Olympics, book your tickets early and I’ll see you at Platform 9-3/4.
