Amazing Kids! Magazine

The Funie Story

By Bruce Risley, age 9, Waikoloa, Hawaii


Hello, my name is Funie. Funie Story. I’ve been trying to make great inventions on the planet Pluto. Wait, Pluto? I meant Mars. Sometimes I’m actually stupider than I really am!  Pluto…I meant Jupiter! Wait, I actually meant EARTH!

Well anyway, as you know, I’m trying to make great inventions on what planet again? Oh yeah, Earth. So, inventions like The Mummy Maker. But since I don’t have a good memory, unfortunately today wasn’t the time of ancient Egypt. Well you might have heard, my mom went in The Mummy Maker, which is a tall yellow machine. I turned it on, and she gave a yelp and came out with her clothes torn to shreds, and wrapped around her like a mummy.

Then I tried to make a time machine that would take you anywhere in time in an attempt to take my Mummy Maker to the Egyptians. But you couldn’t interfere with time, only watch.  Now any school kids who have exams coming up would pay me a fortune in candy canes to have the time machine to help with schoolwork!

Or they might want the Costume Composer. That was a (snort) laugh! Well, the Costume Composer is a rather tall, square machine, and has a door on the left side, and a humongous dial on the right. I turned the dial to “General Grievous,” (a Star Wars figure), turned the hand to “on,” stepped in and closed the door behind me. The effect was not instantaneous. The machine whirred and whizzed but when I came out, the metal head of General Grievous was on my left foot, his chest on my right arm, the four arms were sticking out of my head, and the four light sabers … in my nose! My nose isn’t my light saber holder! I was a mess! It took almost two months to get the costume off!

Now, I’ll show you my invention that I made one day ago. It’s called Invisible Ink, and you get the idea – you can’t see the ink. I’ll tell you my secret ingredients: water to dilute it, tetrandropod, triolthydradroxilate, and hydracyltrialuminumplate. I know what you’re thinking, WOW!! Unless you’re a scientist you’d be thinking, What did he say? Usually I add gasses (argon & neon) to make it less watery.

I’ll tell you about my invention I made a week ago. I call it the Horrbilismimblutonius.  Half-plant, half-animal, the Latin name horrbilis is for the grizzly bear, and mimblutonius is the Latin name for the bean plant. So, basically, I named it the grizzly bean. I’ve also made a different plant-animal; I call it the Blimnoggarrath. Blimnog is pig in Latin. Garrath is coffee plant in Latin, so I also call it the Pig’s Coffee.

You may say that I’m weird, crazy or… a genius. As you might think, my parents wanted to stop me from inventing and making inventions since my parents saw one of my inventions and didn’t intend to see any more. As for my siblings, they keep bothering me, so I invented the Nose Neglector.  The Nose Neglector is a machine that neglects your nose, but vibrates your body and makes you go cross-eyed by putting a flame in-between your eyes. It uses static to pull your hair up then puts permanent hair gel on your hair so it always sticks up. I put the machine in front of my door, and that’s what kept them away from me. I can’t have them running around asking me questions, playing with my machines, dropping candy all over, taking my potions and drinking them!!

Well, my next, and most dangerous experiment, is trying to make The Bubble Blower!   While I was making it, my sister moved the Nose Neglector, and said “Come on, go trick or treating with us! It’ll be fun! I have two important words: free candy.” How could I forget? Halloween! I spent so much time in my room, I only came down at meal time and didn’t have a calendar in my room! Oh no! I don’t have a costume! What am I to do?

As I got out from my room, my mom said she had a costume for me and I had to be a farmer. Wait a second, I had a Costume Composer!  I had a COSTUME Composer!!!!  YES! I ran up to the tall, black machine, tuned the dial to “?” and got in. When I came out, I was a miniature Spiderman. Yeah, I said a miniature Spiderman!  How was I supposed to carry my bag? People would step on me! Now I was doomed! Wait, I was Spiderman, a super hero with super powers! But I still did not go trick or treating.

Well, in a month everything was back to normal; me shut up in my room, my siblings bothering me and whispering about how some day I’ll create a miniature world exactly like Earth, which was very annoying. As for my parents, they’re cooking, cleaning, and doing chores like every other parent is. But one day, after I make The Bubble Blower, I will create living earwax! It will have the power to teleport! Then before you know it, I’ll make humans! Wait, am I a human? Yyyesss! Ding ding ding ding ding! I’m the almighty inventor of Pluto! Pluto? I meant Mars! I’m the almighty inventor of Mars! Mwahahahahahahahahaha! Mars? Sometimes I’m stupider than I really am! I meant Jupiter! Wait, Jupiter? This feels like I’ve done it before. This feels Déjà vu. I meant Earth! E-A-R-T-H!

Hahaha! Am I a great inventor on Earth? Did I invent the Bubble Blower? Yyyyyeeeeesssss! Correct! Ding ding ding ding ding! I invented the Bubble Blower! I also invented The Mummy Maker, The Costume Composer, The Invisible Ink, The Nose Neglector, and many more! I, Funie Story, shall make the greatest machine in the world!

One comment

  1. Johnny Jonny /

    good story