Amazing Kids! Magazine

Your December L.O.L. (Laugh Out Loud! Humor Column)

By Ryan Traynor, Editor-in-Chief

 

Q & A’s

Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle.

Q. Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
A. Because it soot’s him.

Q. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
A. Tinselitis!

Q. What kind of money do snowmen use in the North Pole?
A. Cold cash!

Q. What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
A. Sandy Claws!

Q. Do you know any bird that can write?
A. A Pen-guine.

Q. What did the big angel say to the little angel on Christmas Eve?
A. Halo there!

Q. How would you scare a snowman?
A. Get a hairdryer!

Q. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
A. RUDEolph.

Q. Name a child’s favorite Christmas king?
A. A stocking.

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes

Q. What do you call an elf wearing ear muffs?
A. Anything you want. He can’t hear you.

Q. Why does Santa have three gardens?
A. So he can Ho, Ho, Ho!

Q. What do hungry snowmen put on their ice-burgers?
A. Chilly sauce!

Knock, Knock

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Holly.
Holly who?
Holly-days are here again.

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow business like show business!

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Doughnut
Doughnut who?
Doughnut open until Christmas Day!

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Rabbit.
Rabbit who?
Rabbit up carefully, it’s a present!

Stories

A customer walked into a store looking for Christmas lights. The clerk showed her their top brand. Wanting to make sure each bulb worked, she asked the clerk to take them out of the box and plug them in. He did, and each one lit up. “Great,” she said. The clerk carefully placed the string of lights back in the box. As he handed them to her, she looked alarmed. “I don’t want this box,” she said abruptly. “It’s been opened.”

As a mother and her child were putting out cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve, the mom accidentally dropped one. “No problem,” she said, picking it up and dusting it off before placing it back on the plate. “You can’t do that,” argued the child. “Don’t worry. Santa will never know.” The child shot the mother a look. “So he knows if I’ve been bad or good, but he doesn’t know the cookie fell on the floor?”

One comment

  1. I'm not giving my name /

    Where does the baseball player get his new jerseys?

    In New Jersey, USA!