Amazing Kids! Magazine

Your June L.O.L. (Laugh Out Loud! Humor Column)

By Brandon Kuske, LOL Editor

 

Q&A

Q. Why do some people go to Minnesota?
A. To get a mini-soda!

Q. What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?
A. A gummy bear!

Q. What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing at all?
A. The elephant’s shadow!

Q. What do you call a cow in a tornado?
A. A milkshake!

Q. What did the peanut say to the elephant?
A. Nothing! Peanuts can’t talk!

Knock, Knock!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Broken pencil.
Broken pencil who?
Never mind, it’s pointless.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Wooden shoe.
Wooden shoe who?
Wooden shoe like to hear another joke?

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Ach.
Ach who?
Oh, bless you!

Hey! Will you remember me in two minutes if I come back then?
Yes, I will.
(comes back two minutes later)
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Hey! You didn’t remember me!

Story Jokes

Kid (to father): “Why did the doughnut shop close?”
Father: “I don’t know. Let’s ask him.”
(Father and son walk up to the owner, who is still packing up.)
Father: “Hey! Why did you close your shop?
Owner: “Eh… I got tired of the (w)hole business!

A man walks up to a 24 hour diner. They are just closing down.
“Hey,” the man says to the owner. “It says you’re open 24 hours!”
“Yeah,” the owner replies. “But not in a row.”

An engineer couldn’t find a job, so he opened a medical clinic and put up a sign that read, “Get treatment for $50. If not cured, get back $100.”
A local doctor decided that this was a good opportunity to show up the engineer and earn a quick $100, so he visited the clinic.         Patient (Doctor): “I’ve lost my sense of taste.”
Engineer: “Nurse, bring the medicine from box no. 22 and place three drops in the patient’s mouth.”
Patient (Doctor): Spits out the medicine and says, “Hey! This isn’t medicine, it’s gasoline!
Engineer: “Congratulations, you’re cured! You have your taste back. That’ll be $50.”
Annoyed at losing to the engineer, the doctor returned after several days, determined to recover his money.
Patient (Doctor): “I seem to have lost my memory and I can’t remember a thing.”
Engineer: “Nurse, bring the medicine from box no. 22 and put three drops in the patient’s mouth.”
Patient (Doctor): “But that medicine is for the sense of taste!”
Engineer: “Congratulations! Your memory is back. That’ll be $50.”
After several days the doctor angrily returned for one last try, more determined than ever to recover his money.
Engineer: “So what seems to be the problem?”
Patient (Doctor): “My eyesight has suddenly become very weak.”
Engineer: “Well, it seems I don’t have any medicine for that. Here, take this $100 and go.”
Patient (Doctor): “But this is only a $10 bill.”
Engineer: “Congratulations, your eyesight has gotten a lot better. That’ll be $50.”
-Submitted by Anneka Prigodich