Amazing Kids! Magazine

Your October L.O.L. (Laugh Out Loud! Humor Column)

By Tanmaya Murthy, Humor Column Editor

 

Q & A’s

Q: What does the magician call mathematics?

A: Mathe-magic!

 

Q: Which word is always spelled incorrectly?

A: Incorrectly!

 

Q: What did one computer chip say to the other?

A: You seem to be very tasty!

 

Q: The bulb got better grades in the test than the tube light. Why?

A: Because it was brighter!

 

Q: Where does the witch score good grades?

A: In the spell-ing test!

 

Q: Why are all the alphabet letters jealous of X and L?

A: Because they are XLent!

 

KNOCK KNOCK Joke

Knock-Knock!

Who’s there?

Witch

Witch who?

Which one of you broke my window?

 

SUBMISSIONS BY Rosa Lynn, Age 12, Norwich Ontario, Canada

 

1) I am found on the sea and on the land, but I don’t walk or swim. I travel by foot and I am toothless. No matter wherever I go, I am never far from my home. Who am I?

2) I neither have lungs nor a chest, but I need air. I am not alive, but I grow. I don’t have a mouth and I don’t like water. Who am I?

Answers 1. Snail, 2. Fire

 

SUBMISSION BY RYAN TRAYNOR, Age 12, California

 

1) Customer:  I’ll have a hamburger, please, and make it lean.

Waitress:  Sure.  To the right or to the left?

 

2) What does Moby Dick eat for dinner?

Fish and ships!

 

3) What kind of restaurant does Dracula hate?

A stake house!

 

4) A man went to a lumberyard and asked for some 2 by 4s.

“How long do you need them?” asked the salesman.

“Oh for a really long time.  I’m building a house.”

 

SHORT HUMOR STORY

by Tanmaya Murthy

 

It was another sunny morning and I had to do a lot of work. First, I had to go for an appointment with the dentist. So I quickly got ready and since there was time left before the appointment, I worked on a few documents. Half an hour more to go and I switched off my laptop. I prepared two crunchy toasts for myself and had a filling breakfast. The bell rang and the postman handed me two letters. They were of no use, stupid offers from a company from which I bought my laptop. Such letters irritate me! When I bought that laptop, I gave my name for a lucky draw contest and if you have won, you would get a letter. Unfortunately I got junk mail rather than getting good news for the lucky draw!

Twenty minutes were still left and as the dentist’s place was nearby, I grabbed the daily newspaper and quickly flipped through its pages. Nothing special in the news, so that didn’t take very long. I decided to leave but I realized that I forgot to take my spectacles. I was pretty sure that it would either be on the dressing table in my room or on the dining table. I headed towards my room, but it wasn’t there so I went to the dining room to check, but it wasn’t on the dining table either. I considered myself a rather forgetful person and thought that I must have kept it somewhere else. I searched for all the possible places; the kitchen, the other two rooms, the living room, the shelves all over my home and the washroom too! But I couldn’t find it anywhere! I got terribly anxious as I required my specs, without them it’s pretty tough for me. My vision is not horrible, but it results in headaches if I don’t wear it when I go out. I had another look at the clock and only ten minutes were left before the appointment.

The next five minutes were wasted in searching for my spectacles in the most uncommon places like underneath the bed, inside my wardrobe and what not! But again I failed. It was so irritating. I tried again, searched but all was in vain. I got frustrated! It was almost 9:30 and I couldn’t find my spectacles. I know, I am clumsy at times but things don’t vanish into thin air!

I was sure that I had searched my entire house but all my efforts were fruitless. In frustration, I placed my hand on my forehead and I could feel something. When I pulled if off, it was my spectacles! I didn’t waste a single second laughing as I was rushed for the appointment. I ran top speed and reached the dentist’s place. After the appointment, as I arrived home, I laughed like there was no tomorrow. I searched every place but forgot myself! After reading the newspaper, I must have probably positioned my specs on my forehead! How foolish of me! Things indeed don’t vanish into thin air if you have some presence of mind!

 

-Tanmaya Murthy J

Leave a Reply

Complete the problem to Comment: * Time limit is exhausted. Please reload the CAPTCHA.