Amazing Kids! Magazine

Your September L.O.L. (Laugh Out Loud! Humor Column)

By Tanmaya Murthy, Humor Column Editor

 

Q & A’s

Q: What did one toy say to the other?

A: Can you please lend me a doll-ar!

 

Q: Why is money called dough?

A: Because we all knead it!

 

Q: Why everyone called the fat man expensive?

A: Because the weighing machine said 390 pounds!

 

Q: A man didn’t do any work at all, didn’t earn any money… but still he was a millionaire! How was this possible?

A: Because earlier he was a billionaire! 😛

 

Q:  Where do fishes keep their money?

A: In the river-banks!

 

Q: Why did the girl exchange dollars for cents?

A: Because they had a lovely aroma! (scent)

 

KNOCK KNOCK Joke

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Andrew

Andrew who?

Andrew all her money out of the bank!

 

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Buckle

Buckle who?

Buckle get you a drink but not much else!

 

SUBMISSIONS BY RYAN TRAYNOR, AGE 12, California

 

First Robber:  Oh no, it’s the cops!  Jump out the window!

Second Robber:  You must be joking – we’re on the thirteenth floor!

First Robber:  Just do it!  This is no time to be superstitious.

 

Inmate #1:  What are you in jail for?

Inmate #2:  Driving too slow.

Inmate #1:  What? Don’t you mean driving too fast?

Inmate #2No.  I mean too slow. The cops caught me.

 

Copilot:  Captain, we’re now going faster than the speed of sound!

Pilot:  What?

 

What goes Hahahahahaaaaaaaaah! Thump!?

Laughing your head off!

 

SHORT HUMOR STORY

by Tanmaya Murthy

 

A spine-chilling night

Whenever I go down memory lane, there is one incident that I will always remember. It was an occurrence which I can never forget! It was a chilly spooky night where my fear levels were tested! It was probably the only night of my life when I was so scared that I couldn’t think of anything else. It started off when I was coming home back from my piano class. The sky suddenly started raining and I was really happy because rain always makes my day. I didn’t mind, well who could mind such weather? Little did I know, the rainy weather was actually an indication to something I could never dream of! I was walking along Mulberry lane, which was a pathway to my house. Slowly it started raining more heavily, clouds thundered like as if they were filled with anger! Still I didn’t mind but the weather crossed my limits, strong winds blew, and water poured continuously. Soon I wasn’t able to see a single thing! A very strong gust of wind blew me away, I wasn’t actually flying but I was in the air! I then landed smoothly on the surface of an isolated island which was no doubt very far from home. I was in a state of shock and horrifying amazement! All I could hear was the hooting of owls, creepy voices made by lizards and what not! The sea of storms gave me chills down my spine! I saw a little ray of hope when I caught sight of a tree, which could give shelter for the night at least! I ran towards the tree and sat under it, my tired eyes were tired  but they didn’t get a chance to close because the tree uprooted and flew away with the wind! Gosh! How could that be possible? A huge tree was uprooted by the wind! I was like a helpless wanderer. Suddenly I heard certain noises, footsteps in fact and then a humanly figure coming towards me. I hoped that this person could help me. Dressed entirely in black, the figure came towards me but as soon as I tried to touch it, the person disappeared like a flash of lightening! However, the worst was yet to come. The island broke into pieces! I had to leave the island as it could topple over anytime. I had no option but to jump into the water. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and jumped into the water from the island. However, when I landed, it was rough, hard and wasn’t water at all. I opened my eyes and saw the weirdest sight ever, purple walls, windows, an almirah, a book shelf and on top of me a bed; I knew this room very well. I was flat on the floor of my bedroom! I then realized that this entire adventure was a nightmare which seemed so realistic! When I was jumping into the water from the island (a dream!), I actually jumped from my bed to the floor. That’s why it hurt so much! I laughed until I cried. Whenever, even today when I think of that incident I can’t stop laughing……I got so scared for just an unrealistic creepy dream….! Think if it had been for real, Gosh! Thankfully it was just a nightmare, a humorous night indeed…wasn’t it?

-TANMAYA MURTHY