Amazing Kids! Magazine

The True Story of Cinderella Told by Yours Truly, The Prince

By Samantha Clements, Age 11, Canada

 

Let me start by telling you Cinderella is a SNOBBY, STUCK-UP BRAT! The only reason I married that nut-case is because she blackmailed me!

So this is how it all began…

One Thursday I was handing out my 18th birthday ball invitations when my parents changed the invitation to say, “I am looking for my princess.”  At the time I wasn’t aware of that so just keep reading to find out what happened.  Anyway, on the night of the ball all the girls tried to impress me but I didn’t know why, so I asked my parents, King Patrick and Queen Lucy, and they told me that they changed the invitation to say, “I am looking for my princess.”  Sure, I was mad at the time, but I got over it.

I was walking around looking for the girl who would be my princess when I saw “her.”  She was the ugliest princess ever!  She looked like the Mad Hatter! Her name was Cinderella.  She had bright blue eyeshadow up to her eyebrows, and glittering pink lipstick that made her lips look as big as the Hulk’s hand!

We talked anyway until she said, “If you don’t marry me I’ll feed you to the alligators!”

Well, needless to say, I didn’t want to marry her so I ran. But, for a girl in five inch heels she can run. FAST.

After I finally got rid of her I met these two beautiful girls, Alexandra and Bethany. They were kind, loving and again beautiful.  I couldn’t tell which one I wanted to marry. About a half hour later, Alexandra (the eldest) said, “I have a confession.  Bethany and I are Cinderella’s step-sisters.”

Shocked (and also mortally terrified that they were like “her”) I ran again, until……CRASH!

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” That was probably the most high-pitched scream ever to come out of a guy’s mouth, but it was well-deserved. I crashed into “her,” and what was worse, I spilled punch all over her huge green and orange dress.  And when I said worse, I meant for her.  Surprisingly, the wet purple stain actually made her dress look a little bit more pleasant. Now she wanted to marry me even more because even she thought it made her dress look better!

I was still in shock from Alexandra and Bethany being Cinderella’s step-sisters so I remained curled up on the floor with fruit punch all over and around me.  I didn’t even notice that Cinderella had carried me to a secret room in the castle that not even I knew about!

When I finally recovered from my shock I noticed the room was dark and I saw a large window that would make for a perfect escape route.  But, before I could make my break, “She” walked in.

I think she said, “Did you miss me? ‘Cus I sure missed you sugar pie!” but I wasn’t really paying attention.  All I had in my head was window, escape, window, pie.  I was also really hungry. So I said the first words that came to my head:  “Yes, and pie.”

Dang it, why was yes the first word to pop into my head?  And pie?  Am I mental or something?  Miraculously, she left the room!  Something about bragging to her sisters, blah, blah. So I cut myself free, went to the window and, of course, I saw alligators. They were swimming in the moat like they were waiting for me to jump in.  Apparently she wasn’t kidding when she threatened to feed me to the alligators.  I ran to the door but it was locked from the outside.  What doors are like that?!  When I heard footsteps outside the door I hid behind a knight statue hoping that when she came in I could make a break for the door.  The footsteps kept getting louder, and louder and louder.  Crammed as I was between the door and the statue, it felt like those footsteps approached forever.  When I tried to move, sir knight’s sword jabbed me in my hip.  I was stuck like a marshmallow on a skewer, crammed in there like a nail in a wall.  Even still, I had just about decided to ooze my way out and take my chances with the alligators.

In the event that you haven’t been paying attention, my luck today has been more-or-less AWFUL!  TERRIBLE!  HORRENDOUS! So based on my luck I figured that as soon as I moved, the door would open, and I would be forced to marry a knuckle-head. And that was why I did not move. Comprendre? Good. I’m glad we’re on the same page.

Anyway, I was still waiting when all of a sudden there came a BANG!  And a BOOM!  Until finally, WOOSH!  The door opened.  And who was it?   Alexandra and Bethany trying to save me!

I was still scared of them until they told me that they had Cinderella all tied up and that they had found an alternate exit from the castle that did not involve alligators. So I went with them.

Man! Was that the worst decision EVER!  They tricked me and brought me outside, and straight into Cinderella’s arms literally.

Then Alexandra said, “Now you have to live up to your end of the bargain, where are our princes?”

Surely enough, Cinderella had brought them two handsome men.  And by men I mean dogs. Yes, Cinderella had brought them two dogs: a Black Lab and a Golden Retriever.

Sobbing, the two girls left with their dogs that they named Arnold and Petey.  As for me, I was stuck in “Her” arms.

“So,” she said, “we can do this the easy way or the hard way.”

“There is no easy way if I have to marry you,” I replied.

“Har-de-har. So I’m guessing you choose the hard way?”

I decided it was best not to reply.

“Suit yourself.”

When she turned around I found my parents dangling by their feet over the moat.  Good thing I love my mom.

“Yes, Cinderella,” I said, “I will marry you.”

You know the the rest, they all lived happily ever after.  NOT!  We ended up having two children, a girl and a boy, and Cinderella wanted to name the girl Cinderella Jr., but I wasn’t going to let that happen to the poor thing, so we decided on Crystal.  We named the boy Jameson.  It was a long thirty years until we retired from being king and queen and over our thirty years of ruling we invented retirement homes.  There were two in the kingdom, so I went to one and she went to the other.  That is when the “happily ever after” kicks in, but, for me it was more like “happily forever after” because she still visited me every day, but, I got used to it.  And it was all worth it so Crystal and Jameson could have Grandparents.

3 comments

  1. Sean /

    Great story! Very original and probably more true than the classic tale. I think you have a bright future as a writer ahead of you….

  2. Grandma and Grandpa Clements /

    Nice job Samantha, your story was very entertaining, it showed a great imagination and sense of humor!!!
    We’re very proud of you!!!

    Grandma and Grandpa

  3. Mrs. Coco /

    Hi Samantha! I didn’t forget to check out your story at Amazing Kids Magazine! I have really enjoyed your clever and funny twist this old classic tale! I’m so glad that you enjoy thinking about alternative points of view. You might also want to check out Trish Shaskan or Nancy Loewen books. I hope you are having a wonderful summer!
    Mrs. Coco